Drunken Brawl
by Kibayasha
Summary: Most people think that parties plus drinking equals a good time. But when you add Goddesses to the equation, this is not always the case. This is a short Neptunia one-shot based primarily on information from Hyperdimension Neptunia The Animation. It's also based on a little bit of information from Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1.


**This was a story created for a writing prompt on the Neptunia subreddit. But it was too late, so I didn't end up submitting it. It's based on the very limited amount of the Neptunia series that I've seen, so I'm sorry if there are some inaccurate details.**

"Where ever did Nepgear run off to?" Vert pondered aloud. She was standing by the entrance to the building they were in, which was clearly in the Lastation style, with her arms crossed. As she looked around, Blanc approached her.

"I asked her and Uni to watch Rom and Ram for the time being." She said as an answer to Vert's question.

"Why couldn't you have just brought them here?" Vert asked.

"Well, when I received the invite, I was expecting some sort of diplomatic meeting, not-" She paused as her eyes traced the streamers lining the walls and the balloons against the ceiling, "a party."

"Oh, I suppose that makes sense. It probably wouldn't be the best to bring those two to a formal meeting." Vert mumbled, mostly to herself. "Is that where Iffy and Compa went as well?" She asked.

Blanc shook her head. "I have no idea where those two are. I think Neptune would be better to ask for that."

"For what?" Neptune said, jumping out of seemingly nowhere. It didn't surprise anyone; everyone is used to Neptune by now.

"Vert would like to know where IF and Compa are." Blanc said bluntly.

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmm..." Neptune thought to herself. After a few moments, she finally spoke in her typical happy tone, "No idea!"

"Where ever they are, I just feel sorry for them. They're missing the party after all." Noire pitched in.

"I don't!" Neptune said. "Who decided that it should be held in _this_ dreary place!?" She whined.

"Don't talk about Lastation that way!" Noire raged. "Besides, I did my best to decorate this place." She mumbled dejectedly.

The streamers along the walls were in four colors, white, green, pink, and blue, and were twisted together loosely. Likewise, the balloons beneath the ceiling were white, green, purple, and black and were scattered so that no one color of them was too close to another the same color. The tables were arranged in the same way, but slightly more organized. The tables, with their light blue, light green, grey, and pinkish-purple toppings, would've looked like polka dots on the floor to the balloons above them.

"Oh? From what I'm told, Nepgear and Uni did most of the work." Blanc stated.

"Yeah! Now that I think about it, I remember Nepgear saying something about buying supplies. She needed some second opinions on some things and wasn't sure what all to get." Neptune said.

"Well… Yeah, they put it together." Noire stuttered, "but I'm the one who told them what to do."

"Nnnnno," Neptune began, "I'm pretty sure Uni did that."

"Well…" Noire started defensively, "Look, it's _my_ party, so it's _my _decision where we have it!" She yelled even more defensively than before.

"Alright alright, don't go gettin' your panties in a bunch!" Said Neptune. "Hey, what is there to do here anyway?" She questioned.

"Well," Noire looked around, "food and drinks are over there," she pointed, "and if you follow me, I'll show you what else there is."

The three of them followed Noire, but Vert broke off from the group and headed towards the food table. There was a large, rectangular table off against the far wall that was decorated with stripes with matching colors to the tables. Looking around, it seemed like there were more than enough tables for far more people than those who were attending. Neither Noire nor Uni had any friends, so they'd likely not been to many parties. 'They probably based the entire layout on things they've seen on movies and the internet' Vert thought to herself. 'How adorable."

Vert approached the table and studied the array of food for a moment. "I wonder what drinks my Nepgear bought for this occasion?" She wondered aloud. Off to one end she spotted a variety of drinks. She walked in their direction, but upon getting a closer look she paused. She picked one up and studied the bottle. "Oh dear!" she exclaimed aloud, "Either she didn't know what she was doing picking these out, or Neptune was expecting a different kind of party than I think Noire was planing!" She said to herself. In her hands, she held a glass of wine, not a non-alcoholic variety either. She set it down and took a look at the others. 'Maybe it was just a fluke' she thought to herself, 'it's probably just the one." Sure enough, they were all alcoholic. In fact, each one Vert looked at had a higher alcohol content than the last. "Oh my." She said. She paused for a moment before chuckling and humorously saying, "Well, I can't say this won't be an interesting party."

"I'm the protagonist!" Neptunes upset cries could be heard from half a room away. As Vert rushed over to see why she was causing a commotion she heard more of Neptune's cries. "You should be focusing on me, not _Vert_!" she shouted.

"Nobody knows what you're talking about!" Noire yelled angrily.

Blanc followed suite. "Really, she can't go _five_ minutes without saying something outlandish!"

"Anyway, now that we're all here, let's karaoke!" Neptune shouted with enthusiasm.

Noire was at a loss. "How could someone _possibly_ change their mood so quickly!" She exclaimed under her breath.

Neptune flipped through songs on a karaoke machine until she came across one titled "Miracle! Portable✩Mission". "C'mon!" She cried out as she came down, took Noire by the arm, dragged her onto the miniature stage, and handed her a microphone. All the while Noire stuttered her protests. "I don't think this song is meant for two people." "I really don't think I should." "You'd be better of doing it with someone else."

Noire looked down from the stage. "Vert, a little help?" she begged, scarcely loud enough for Vert to hear. "You'll do great Noire!" She responded. "Blanc?" Noire pleaded. Blanc wore and evil smile. "What are you waiting for?" she asked sadistically. Noire's pleading expression faded to one of exhaustion as she let out a sigh.

Neptune started the first line. Although clearly reluctantly, Noire seemed somewhat happy to sing the next line. Noire's singing voice was surprisingly good. Surprisingly, she excelled at karaoke. They traded lines like this until the corus, where they both sang together.

Despite them both being relatively good at singing, the corus was horrible. They were terribly out of sync. "And they were doing so well, too." Vert frowned.

"It looks like noire has done this before." Blanc explained. "Unfortunately, I don't think she's ever done it with anyone _else_."

The two of them watched the other two quietly for the rest of the song. Most parts sounded very good, but each time it got to a part where they sang together they lost their good streek. Each time, they sang together, it was in two different pitches, it was in two different tones, and to say that it wasn't in sync would be an immense understatement.

After the song, Noire went and took a seat at one of the tables. "It's amazing how exhausted this can get you." She exhaled, laying herself on the table.

Blanc had a short chuckle to herself. "What are you laughing about, you're next!" Neptune said as she dragged Blanc onto the stage, similarly to what she'd done with Noire.

Blanc shot a pleading glance at Vert, who simply gave an innocent looking, but clearly entertained, smile. Blanc's begging went to Noire next. Now it Noire's turn to smile, which she did without lifting any more than her head from the table. "Sadistic" doesn't even begin to describe the spiteful glee in her expression. "What are you waiting for?"

Blanc looked infuriated as she mumbled inaudibly something under her breath. Noire sat there giggling to herself. After a few moments, Blanc took a deep breath and returned to her enigmatic look. This whole time, Neptune had been looking through songs. She'd come to a decision just in time. This time it was "Kirihirake! Roleplay✩Star Girl".

Blanc's singing voice wasn't bad per se, but she sang without emotion which didn't sound very good. Her singing was, however, more in sync with Neptune's, if only by a little.

Noire's spiteful giggle lasted through the entire song and only stopped when Blanc came to the same table and lay face down on it the same way Noire was. One could hardly tell that she was exhausted with how angry she looked.

"Man, you guys kinda suck at this." Neptune said bluntly.

Before she got a chance to grab Vert and drag her on stage like the others, Vert said, "Why don't you have a solo and show them how it's done!"

"Yeah! I'll show you how _really_ nep a song!" She proclaimed.

"What does that even _mean_?" Blanc growled quietly.

"You should be suffering with us." Noire griped.

"Whatever do you mean?" Vert asked with a smile.

Neptune flipped through the songs once more and came across one named "Dimension Tripper". Without so much as a pause to consider the option, she selected it. Without anyone to keep up with, the song sounded great. Neptune was clearly trying to show up the others. She sang with more enthusiasm before and she was even doing poses and little dances on the stage.

After the song, Neptune spread herself out on the floor of the stage with a worn exhale. "I thought she'd never get worn out." Noire mumbled.

"Where do ya think all that energy when she's supposed to working?" Blanc wondered.

For a moment, Vert wore an evil grin, but it faded quickly. "You all look worn out. Should I go get us all some drinks?" She asked.

Neptune and Blanc, being too tired to question Vert's motives, nodded their heads. Noire picked hereself up off the table and stood up. "That's too much for one person to carry. I'll come with you." She suggested.

"Oh," Vert said. It was an unexpected development. She hadn't anticipated that any of them would voluntarily help her. "Thank you!" She faked, attempting to act casual. Contrary to her words and smile, she could only think, 'No, no, no! This could mess it up!'

They walked with Noire in the lead. She walked up to the food table right where the glasses were. They weren't abnormally large glasses, but they were fairly big. Certainly bigger than the solo cups you'd typically see at a party.

They both grabbed two glasses and walked over to where the drinks were. Noire stopped next to them. She set the glasses down and leaned up against the table.

"Is this…" She began, "going well?"

Vert looked at her curiously for a moment. "The party I mean. Does it seem like it's going well?" Noire added. Rather than looking at Vert, she was staring at the floor. She seemed to be concerned, with tense posture and subbledly worried expression.

"I'd say so." As Vert spoke, she grabbed the bottle with the highest alcohol concentration and poured it into each glass one by one. "Besides, it's just gotten started. I'm sure things will get even better." She reassured the insecure Goddess.

"Yeah. It's just gotten started." Noire repeated as she began to cheer up. "And after a while, it'll be the best party any of you have ever seen!" She proclaimed as she stood up straight.

"That's a bit of a stretch, but I'm sure it'll be great." Vert assured the now confident CPU as she handed her two glasses. She was completely genuine. It may have seemed like they weren't getting along, but contraily, Vert hoped, they were actually having a lot of fun teasing each other as well as doing karaoke. It was largely due to Neptune. She seemed to have an uncanny ability to bring them together. Some sort of Protagonist Skill maybe?

Noire stopped leaning on the table and stood up straight. "You bet it will!" She exclaimed. She began to walk back to the others with a confident poise. Each step practically had reassurance emanating from it. As she walked away, Vert sighed and thought to herself, 'Thank goodness. She was so occupied she didn't even notice."

As they approached the others, they heard Neptune mumble. "I'm the _main __**character**_. Why's it gotta follow them if all they're doin' is getting drinks?"

The unexpected randomness of Neptune conflicted with Noire's confidence and left Noire frozen still for a moment. She sighed, "You never change, do you?"

She set one drink down next to Neptune, who was still lying on the stage. She sat up. "Oh, c'mon. You know ya love me." She said just before doing the entire class.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Noire respond before drinking her glass.

Vert set a glass next Blanc and sat down across from her. Blanc gratefully took the glass and began to drink, too. Vert smiled deviously for a moment but hid it with her own glass as she took a drink. She didn't drink it all at once like the others, partly due to the fact that she wasn't as worn out as they were.

Blanc, having just finished her drink, froze. After a moment, she slammed the glass on the table. Any harder and it would've shattered, broken the table, or both. "Was this alcohol!?" She shouted. Her gaze fell on Noire. Her red eye seemed to stare a hole in her. "What the hell were you _thinking_!?" She shouted.

Noire stuttered. "What!? I'm not the one who filled the glasses! It was Vert!" She yelled, pointing an accusing finger.

"Oh my," Vert began, "there's no pulling one over on you two." She giggled.

"This _can't_ be taking a PG-13 direction." Neptune commented.

Vert put a hand up to her mouth and laughed, "You all act like you've never drank before."

Noire stood up angrily and opened her mouth to defend herself but before she could Blanc began shouting again. "So _what_!? You don't just make people drink this kind of stuff without even telling them!" Blanc scolded, "Especially not a CPU! This whole damn place is gunna be blown sky high if any one of us gets drunk off this!"

"We'll just have to wait and see." Vert said happily.

Some time passed in a tense silence. Neptune, who'd returned to laying on the stage, seemed to be the only one who wasn't worried about what would happen once the drinks set in. The careless Goddess was also the first whom the alcohol affected. Despite this, she didn't seem much different at that moment.

Blanc was laying halfway on the table again, like how she'd done just after karaoke, but this time she had her arms crossed under her chin, propping her head up. "You guys are all idiots!" She slurred spontaneously. She was next to be affected.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean!?" Noire followed, both in being drunk and slurring her words.

"It begins." Mumbled Neptune.

"Oh, don't be quite so dramatic." Vert responded. She, too, was beginning to feel the effects, though it wasn't effecting her very much just yet.

"Who the hell are you callin' dramatic!?" Blanc yelled, slurring her words again.

"Wha-oh! Blansy's gettin' mad." Neptune joked, only sounding a little drunk.

"Don't call me that stupid nick-" Blanc began to growl before being inturupted by a hickup.

Neptune began to giggle. Blanc leered at her for a moment, then stood up. She marched over to Neptune and grabbed her by the shirt. "What the hell are you laughing about!?"

Noire sat quietly. She gripped her glass tightly while she shot worried glances back and forth between the two Goddesses.

Vert walked between the two of them and pushed them a bit appart. "Now, now. This is a party! We shouldn't spend it fighting with each other like children."

"Yeah, Blansy. Knock it off." Neptune said confidently.

"Don't tell me what to do, you bitch." Blanc mumbled.

"Now, is calling Neptune names really necessary?" Vert asked.

Blanc gave Vert a death-stare. "I wasn't talkin' to her."

"Is that so, then why don't you call me that again and see what happens!?" Vert said with a smile that was clearly trying to had an angry scowl.

"Oh? You couldn't hear me or somethin'? Maybe your tits got in the way of your ears!" Blanc yelled. She cupped her hands around her mouth and began to shout, "You! Are! A! Bitch!"

By now, Noire was looking panicked as she watched what was going on. As Vert and Blanc kept yelling and arguing, with the occasional input from Neptune, Noire would raise her hand periodically as though she had something to say. She never got a word in and her hand always went down after only a second or two.

"That's it! I don't know where you learned your manners, but I think it's time someone taught you properly!" Vert announced before transforming.

"Finally, this thing's gettin' interesting!" Blanc said before transforming as well.

White Heart went in for the first strike. Before she got her swing in, Green Heart jabbed her with the back of her spear, causing her to bend over. Green Heart spun the spear around to slash downwards, but it was blocked by a sword.

"You weren't thinking about leaving me out of this, were you?" Purple Heart asked.

Green Heart took a step back and got ready to fight again. Purple heart faced Green Heart and held her sword ready. Blanc, who no one was looking at, backed up a little. After a moment, she raised her hammer and swung it at Purple Heart's back, knocking her to the ground. She then raised her hammer and got ready to bring it crashing down. Her drunken state left her slow enough for Green Heart to get an attack in. She lunged forward and jabbed at White Hearts head, but that alcohol affecting her caused her to only graze by her face. Purple Heart swun her sword and hit Green Heart's spear in such a way that it pushed White Heart and caused her to stumble.

Purple Heart got up and both she and Green Heart took a step back. Blanc, who had taken longer to regain her balance due to the alcohol, was now standing ready a distance away. They all went in to fight and cause ensued. They fought on the ground, in the air, and even against the ceiling at times. Tables were flipped and broken and nothing was left unscratched. Surprisingly, their drunkenness kept them from badly injuring each other. They either couldn't hit each other correctly or they'd miss entirely.

Watching the pandemonium, Noire's expression showed nothing short of trauma. She gripped her glass so tightly it seem like it could crack without a moment's notice. She had her mouth open as if she were going to say something, but she didn't. After all, it's not like they'd hear her if she did. At the very least, they wouldn't listen.

After a while of fighting, they'd found themselves in the air in the center of the room. White Heart and Green Heart both kicked Purple Heart, which sent her flying and crashing down into the Karaoke stage. White Heart rushed towards Green Heart, but Green Heart ducked to dodge the hammer and wound up behind her. She spun around and kicked her, which sent her all the way to the far wall, right above the alcohol that had started all this. She stopped just before the wall, but found herself against it. Green Heart rushed toward her, but she'd anticipated this. She pushed herself off the wall and swung her hammer. She hit Green Heart with enough force to send her onto the wall at the opposite end of the room and even crash into just barely not hard enough to break through it completely.

They all readied themselves to go back and fight again. They began to fly back to the middle, expecting to finish the fight this time.

Before they got there, Noire ran out into the middle of the room. "That's **enough**!" She shouted, tucking her head and putting her hands out.

The three CPUs slowed down and stopped a distance away from Noire. They sat there for a minute, wondering what she'd say. After that minute had passed, Noire dropped to the ground. They all looked at each other, confused. Tears welled up in Noire's eyes. As her crying became more apparent, the CPUs lowered to the ground. They were dumbfounded, without a clue what to do.

"I just wanted a party!" She cried. Her cries got louder with each sentence as she continued, "With all the normal stuff that you're supposed to do at parties! Like karaoke, and games, and dancing, and whatever other stupid stuff people do at parties! Would that have been so hard!?"

Purple Heart was the first one to react. She walked up and put a hand on Noire's shoulders. "I have to say, I didn't expect something like this from you, Noire." She said after a moment.

Green Heart transformed and stood there for a moment. "I guess you really never know what to expect after drinking something with such a high amount of alcohol." She said, somewhat quietly.

Purple Heart transformed next, but she didn't say anything. She simply stayed there with one hand on Noire in an attempt to end her crying.

White Heart was at a loss for words. After a couple of minutes she transformed, but she still didn't know what to say. After a while of thinking, she finally spoke. "I'm sorry" was all she said, and she said it in a whisper.

Several more minutes passed with nothing but the sound of Noire's sobs. She didn't seem to be listening to what they tried to tell her. They tried apologizing and saying things to cheer her up, but she'd stopped paying attention to what they were saying.

The door opened and several familiar voices came through. Standing in the doorway was a group consisting of IF, Compa, MAGES., Nepgear, and Uni.

"You rented _this_ place?" MAGES. Asked. "The state it's in is nothing short of catastrophic."

Uni poked her head in. "But…" She paused for a moment, "It wasn't like this when we got here."

IF looked in curiously and, through the tables, she saw someone sitting on the floor. "Look there!" she yelled before running towards them.

"Oh, no! Is someone hurt!?" Compa yelled as she followed behind IF.

"What could've happened!?" Nepgear asked as she and MAGES. ran after them.

Uni stood there for a moment. "Is…" She froze. "Is that Noire!?" She shouted before running behind the others, though she passed most of them up before reaching her sister.

As she came up to them, IF stood back up from where she'd kneeled down. "Don't worry, she's not hurt. She's even less banged up than the rest, actually."

"What happened!?" Nepgear questioned.

Neptune laughed nervously. "Well…"

IF gave Neptune a judgmental look. "What did you do now?"

"Why does Nep-Nep always need to start things like this…" Compa sighed.

"Hey, why are you assuming that it's _my_ fault!?" Neptune asked.

"Observation." MAGES. answered.

"That's hurtful." Neptune respond poutfully.

"It's actually my fault." Vert revealed, stepping forward. "I might have given them a little bit of alcohol without telling them."

"Yeah, but I'm the one who started the fight." Blanc commented.

"Nah, that was all of us." Said Neptune. "All of except for Noire here."

"Did you bring alcohol just for this?" IF asked, looking curiously at Vert.

"I wasn't the one who brought it. It was over on the drink table." She responded.

"Wait, but that means…" Nepgear paused a moment while she thought. Her face fell as she realized what she was thinking. "It's my fault. I'm the one who bought the drinks."

"Like I said, I knew what it was and I gave it to them anyway." Vert said, assuring Nepgear of her innocence in the matter, though it didn't work much.

"Well," Compa pitched in, "how are we supposed to make sure that they don't do this again?"

"Alas, I don't yet have a device that can turn a drunk person sober. Though it wouldn't be a bad idea to make one." With this comment, MAGES. went deep into thought planning her next invention.

"I guess we'll just have to keep an eye on them." Uni suggested. "I mean, it's not like there's not enough food and stuff to do." She explained. What she didn't say was that she honestly thought that attending the party would be fun. "Although we might want to avoid the drinks." she giggled.

The rest of the party went well. They managed to calm Noire and new arrivals were able to keep the drunken Goddesses under control for the rest of the night. Everybody had fun, even the scraped and bruised three. The night ended with the four Goddesses, who'd all managed to sneak drinks while no one was looking, passing out. All in all, the night wasn't a total disaster, not that Noire would remember whether it was or wasn't.


End file.
